The Buchanan's Baby (Billionaire Romance) (Bought By The Billionaire Brothers) Page 5

  Her gaze dropped to his groin and her mouth tightened as she scrambled to her feet, pulling her skirt down and jerking the blanket out from beneath him. “Find your own way back to the club, asshole!” she hissed and stomped back to her car, leaving him standing on the beach.

  Shouldn’t it count for something that he’d made her cum?

  Hmm…guess not. This must be how women felt after they’d given a guy a blowjob and the guy still blew them off. Not a nice feeling, he noted.

  But he knew there was no way he could’ve faked sex when his cock plainly didn’t want to play.

  And now he was stranded on a beach with no clue as to where he was.

  He texted Vince but after ten minutes and no response, he started walking. He was half tempted to call Shannon but the second the idea popped in his head he discarded it as dangerously ludicrous. Why would he call Shannon? Explaining why he was stranded on a beach in the first place wasn’t bound to make him look like the good guy that he’d ardently professed he was. And, the idea of admitting to Shannon he’d just had his tongue in someone else’s pussy made him squirm with something that felt a lot like guilt though why he didn’t know. They weren’t a couple; she had no claim on him.

  Except…he wanted her.

  There. He said it. He wanted her.

  He wanted her so badly he could think of nothing else and he didn’t think it had anything to do with the fact that she was his baby mama.

  Closure — that’s what he hadn’t gotten with her and that’s why he was obsessed.

  That’s it, he realized. He just needed some kind of closure. But how was he going to manage that when there was no way he could see Shannon casually and then break it off when he bored of her company? He had his daughter to consider now. He couldn’t just use his daughter’s mama for his own pleasure and then discard her. He scrubbed his hands across his face and flagged a taxi once he hit the main highway.

  So, he was right back where he started.

  Fucked — and not in the feel-good way.

  Fabulous.

  -6-

  For reasons she didn't really want to examine too closely, Shannon spent an inordinate amount of time picking the right outfit for both herself and Aubrey. What did it matter? It wasn’t as if they were interviewing for a job. But when she spent an extra moment fixing her hair and making sure her makeup was just right she resigned herself to the knowledge that she cared what Nolan thought.

  Nolan arrived promptly and she was surprised to see a picnic basket in his hand. "What's that?" she asked, privately delighted that he'd been so considerate as to bring food. "You didn't have to bring a picnic."

  "I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. Besides, what if we get hungry? I, for one, am a big fan of food."

  "So is Aubrey. She gets very grouchy when she's hungry," Shannon admitted, flashing Nolan a small smile. "Okay, I guess we’re ready. Let's go." She leaned down to pick up Aubrey and she could tell by the look in his eye that he wanted to offer but didn't. In a way she was glad, she wasn't ready for him to hold her. Somehow, she knew if she saw Aubrey in Nolan's arms, the tears wouldn't be far behind.

  When they got to her beat up sedan, Nolan did a double take and stared hard at the old car, plainly displeased with her ride. "This is what you drive?" he asked. "Is this even safe?"

  "Of course it's safe it's just not pretty." She opened Aubrey's door and winced when a loud screech followed. "And it just needs a little WD-40 on the hinges." She made quick work of snapping Aubrey into her car seat and then they climbed in the car. "I had plans to buy a new car this year but something else came up," she said, thinking of the $5,000 she’d given the attorney. "But it's a good car. And besides, as long as it gets me from Point A to Point B that's all I need."

  "All that's holding this car together is rust."

  "Every car in the Bay Area has some kind of rust; it doesn't mean it's not a good car," Shannon insisted. "It gets good gas mileage and it's paid off, which makes it A-OK in my book."

  Nolan didn't seem to appreciate her logic but remained silent. She wasn't sure if she trusted that silence. She could see the wheels turning in his mind and she didn't like the direction. "I like my car, okay? Leave it at that."

  She wasn't lying, per se. But she knew that the time had come for her to buy a new car. Lately, her trusty little sedan had been making frightening noises that sounded like something crucial was about to abandon ship. Please don't break down, not today, she prayed.

  "So where are you staying?" she asked, making conversation as she drove in the hopes of diverting the conversation away from the obvious shortcomings of her vehicle.

  "At the Fairmont," he answered, his brow still furrowed in thought as he watched the scenery go by.

  "Of course, a five-star hotel. When you can afford the very best why go with economy, right?"

  "I didn’t make the travel arrangements, my secretary did. But, yes, I usually stay in the nicest hotels. They have better shampoo," he added with a wink that made her stomach muscles jump. "Honestly, I don't care where I stay as long as the bed is comfortable. I don't usually spend all that much time in the hotel anyway."

  "It seems silly to spend all that money on a room that you're just going to sleep in," Shannon said. "Personally, I like to spend as little as possible on the hotel rooms so I have the money to spend on activities when I go on vacation."

  "Where have you gone on vacation?" he asked.

  "Well, nowhere lately but I have been to Oregon and Washington and someday I hope to go to Canada."

  "What's in Canada?" he asked, interested.

  Should she tell him her goals of landing a bigger hockey gig? It seemed premature to start sharing such personal details but she also knew that her plans would become evident eventually anyway if he remained in her life. She took a deep breath and answered, "Well, they have a major hockey network there. And if I can't get into the NHL, Calgary has a hockey team that's pretty respectable."

  "So moving is part of your plan eventually?" he asked.

  "Yes," she admitted. "I can't make a living at the minor leagues. I mean, I do okay but I'll want to do better than okay. I want to be able to support Aubrey on my own without having to worry about someone else paying my way."

  "If you need money I can give you some."

  "I don't want your money. Don't you think if I'd wanted your money I would've called you the minute I found out I was pregnant?" She pointed out. "I accepted the role of single mother and I've been doing just fine on my own. But in order to teach Aubrey how to be self-sufficient I have to be self-sufficient. And that means not accepting a handout from you."

  "It's not a handout," he said, frowning. "If I'm her father I will gladly pay child support."

  "We have all that we need.”

  "What if I don't agree? My daughter deserves the best not just what paltry, bottom of the barrel existence you can give her."

  Immediately offended, Shannon was tempted to stomp on the brakes and kick him out of her car. "Are we going to fight all day or we are we going to try to have a nice day together because it's not starting off well," she warned him. "I haven't decided whether or not you are a good influence on Aubrey and throwing money at her is not going to prove to me that you’re a good father."

  "And forcing her to live in poverty because of your pride isn’t a sign that you are being a good mother," he pointed out equally irritated. "And I wouldn't just throw money at her. But I would like her to have nice things. Is that so bad?"

  She bit her lip, realizing that he'd made a fair point. She agonized when she couldn't buy the things that Aubrey needed and had to scrimp and save for the simplest things, like extra diapers and new clothes. Having Nolan around to smooth the rough spots would certainly be an asset. No! Don't even go there. She was doing just fine on her own; she didn't need Nolan to save her or Aubrey. "Let’s just have a nice day, okay?"

  "Fine." But judging by the way his lip compressed to a tight line, he wasn’t finished with the conversation and it would likely come up again. “So tell me about this park we’re going to," he said after a lengthy pause that nearly set her nerves on edge.

  "When I was pregnant I liked to come here because it was quiet and not too many people use it but it has really pretty trees and a beautiful view as well as a play park for the kids. It's just become my favorite place and Aubrey's too so I thought you might enjoy it, too."

  "Absolutely."

  Just as she said, the park was relatively quiet without a lot of traffic and as Nolan spread the blanket to unpack the picnic basket she let Aubry toddle off to pick dandelions in the grass. She peered quietly at Nolan as he prepared their picnic and she wondered why he was trying so hard. Why couldn't he have been the deadbeat that she thought he was? It would've made everything easier by half. But he seemed to really want to be a part of Aubrey’s life and she was having a hard time holding on to the reasoning for excluding him. "Are you seeing anyone?" she asked, telling herself the information was important to know for Aubrey's sake but in truth, she was curious for her own reasons.

  "No. I was seeing someone for a while but it didn't work out," he admitted. "I hope you like potato salad."

  "I love potato salad," she murmured. "Why didn't it work out?"

  Nolan shrugged. "It never does."

  His answer was flip but she sensed there was something else beneath that fatalistic answer. Did she care enough to pry? Was it her business? She was afraid to be honest with herself. Luckily she was saved from delving too deeply into that topic when he turned the question around on her. "How about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

  "No. I'm a single mom; I don't have time to date."

  "If you had the time, would you date?" he asked.

  "There are times I wish I had someone to spend time with for some adult conversation but I'm so focused on my work and on Aubrey that I just don't know if I have room in my life for someone else on a permanent basis."

  "I know how you feel. Sometimes relationships seem like so much work."

  "If you think a relationship is a lot of work you should try raising a child,” she quipped wryly.

  He nodded, his gaze following their child. "I can't seem to stop thinking about her. I hate that I've missed so much. When you told me that she had colic for three months I felt cheated for not knowing that simple fact about my child. I don’t want to miss out on anything else."

  "Nolan, being a father is so much more than you can even understand. Are you ready for that kind of commitment?"

  "I don't know," he answered, adding, "but does anyone ever know if they're ready? Did you know you were ready to be a mother? Sometimes you’re put into a situation and you're forced to be ready."

  "Yes, but sometimes people fail and kids end up getting hurt. I don't want Aubrey to end up on the wrong end of that deal when you realize that you're not cut out to be a dad."

  "Why do you assume that I'll fail?" he asked, pinning her with a stern stare. "Maybe I’ll be great at it."

  "Maybe.” She shrugged, then sighed. “Maybe I'm not ready for you to be in the picture." It took a lot for her to admit that. Nolan seemed to acknowledge the big step she’d taken in admitting that fear and nodded in understanding. His quiet acceptance of her reasoning compelled her to explain. “When you said I didn’t know you, you were right. But what I do know scares me. I don’t approve of the lifestyle you live. How can I trust you with our child? I have traditional values and I know you don't."

  Nolan fell silent and returned his gaze to the child as she squealed and laughed, dancing in the sunlight. Without another word, Nolan climbed to his feet and strode toward Aubrey. Shannon’s first inclination was to follow but for some reason she held back. When he knelt down to Aubrey’s level and plucked a dandelion for her, the moment Aubrey's chubby little hand closed around the delicate stem Shannon's heart melted a little. Nolan looked so earnest, so desperate to get to know their tiny child that Shannon couldn't help but think that she was being too stiff, too rigid. Maybe she had misjudged Nolan and, in fact, had cheated him of a relationship with their child. She’d been so sure she was making the right decision but in truth, she might have just been making a selfish one.

  And that was a tough pill to swallow. Could Nolan be the father Aubrey needed? And if so, where did Shannon fit in the picture?

  She squirmed in discomfort as she realized she wanted Nolan to want her, too.

  This is about Aubrey, she cautioned herself. Not you. Besides, Nolan had never said he was interested in rekindling something with her. And that stung her pride.

  Nolan watched as Aubrey's eyes lit up with wonder as she ran as fast as her chubby legs could carry her from one fascinating sight to the next. He followed to keep her safe but with each step he realized he could never walk away from his child. Ever. And when Aubrey tottered and fell on her little bottom, he was there to quickly pick her up. He didn't hesitate and simply scooped her into his arms. Aubrey grinned and stared into his eyes without fear. And if he worried that holding her would feel awkward, he realized his fear was misplaced. Holding her felt like the most natural thing in the world.

  "Hello Aubrey," he murmured, taking in every detail of her precious face. "I think I'm your daddy."

  "Da-da,” Aubrey copied, smiling. Then she pointed. "More fowers, peez?” And he gladly helped search for every tiny little wildflower on the grounds. Each squeal of delight was like a shock to his heart that he quickly came to crave. He'd see to it that she had fresh flowers every single day if she so desired. And by the time he walked back to Shannon holding Aubrey in his arms he knew there was no going back. And judging by her expression, Shannon knew it, too.

  They sat and ate their lunch, laughing at Aubrey and sharing what looked like an idyllic afternoon together but Nolan knew the questions swirling in his mind were likely as stark as the questions swirling in Shannon's mind. They had a lot to work out and there were no easy solutions.

  Shannon was right; their values were not remotely the same. How could they raise a child somewhere in the middle? He knew it wasn't possible. So either he had to change or Shannon had to change. And given the fact that he didn't have a solid argument as to why Shannon should change, he knew that the change fell on his shoulders. Could he be the man Shannon needed him to be in order to be a good father to Aubrey? He honestly didn't know. And it scared him to think that he could lose Aubrey because of his past.

  "I want the paternity done right away," he said abruptly. "I don’t see any point in waiting. I want to get it over with so that I can get her name changed immediately."

  "I told you I don't want to change her name," Shannon reminded him with a scowl. "Her name is Aubrey Garrity and it's staying that way."

  "She's a Buchanan and she’ll have the Buchanan name. Besides, whether you like it or not, there are legalities to inheritance. She has to carry my name if she's going to be named my heir."

  "I don't need her to be your heir. You can be her father and have different last names."

  "I'm not going to argue with you. In this, you will lose so don't waste your energy," he said curtly. "You’ve kept my daughter from me and I've missed out on so much. There are some things that I will not compromise." He was being an ass, he could tell by the wounded expression on her face but he couldn't help himself. He was angry and not only with Shannon. He was angry with himself for taking the easy way his entire life. Unlike his brother Dillon who walked away from the family fortune and went and made something of himself on his own, both Nolan and Vince had taken the path of least resistance, which hadn’t done much to build their character. He wanted better for his daughter but he didn’t know the first thing about providing a good example for her.

  "Why are you picking a fight with me?" she asked. "We don’t have to be on opposite sides."

  "Don't we?" He looked away. "You put me on the opposite side when you failed to tell me I had fathered a child. I'm not trying to be the bad guy but you've already put me in the role."

  Her lip trembled and she looked away. "I was protecting Aubrey."

  “It's my turn to think about Aubrey's welfare, too. And I feel it's in her best interest to carry my name."

  "Well, I disagree."

  Nolan could tell Shannon would continue to stay on the opposite side of the argument and he decided for Aubrey’s sake he would let the lawyers fight it out. Shannon had to know that she was going to lose. When the paternity revealed that he was the father, his rights would go into effect. There was no sense in beating her over the head with the point.

  He’d ruined the afternoon but there was no escaping the fact that he was pent up with an unnamable energy. He was angry, shamed, but worse, he was lost. When Shannon started packing up the picnic he didn't stop her. An apology danced on his tongue but he knew it would fall on deaf ears and didn’t bother.

  The silent car ride back to her apartment was the most uncomfortable ride of his life.

  "I'll be in touch," he promised.

  "Yeah, I know," she said, glancing away with obvious displeasure. She looked as if she’d rather drink bleach than see him again. Hell, he’d made a mess of things.

  He watched as Shannon and Aubrey disappeared in the apartment without saying goodbye. He supposed he deserved that. Since he was terrible company at the moment, he didn't pursue them.

  He needed to talk to someone but whom could he trust with something so personal? Vince offered terrible counsel and Dillon was busy with his own impending fatherhood.

  One person stood out in his mind but he was reluctant to go down that road for fear of what she’d say. But even as he feared this person’s honesty, he trusted her intuition unlike anyone else.

  "Penny?" he asked when she answered the line. Her relieved sigh on the other told him volumes.

  "It's about time you called. I thought I was going to give birth before you came to your senses. Now fill me in with the details; I want to know everything."

  By the time he’d finished, he felt emotionally drained.

  “Nolan, don’t you see what the answer is?” Penny asked.